I love.

I love how I feel super dorky in these flowered capri pajama pants. I love how cold and sweet this orange peach mango juice is, and how cute it is in the little clear plastic cup I have on my desk. I love Bananagrams and how when I close my eyes, I see tiles and they just start making words on their own, and words appear in my mind and start rearranging into other words, and it makes me feel like I have this mega vocab brain. I don’t love a lot of things tonight, I’m feeling a little melancholy again, but I’ve decided that I want to immerse myself in lovely thoughts, so I’m going to use my blog time to do that. And I hope you’ll share some of the things you love lately? Even the silly things?

I love my in-window air conditioner and my new socks that are so many colors, vibrant and earthy. I love my newfound style and how comfortable I often am. I love the nights where shuffle seems to do everything it’s supposed to and all of the songs sound kind of sweet and possessing pretty melodies. I love how tumblr can be mundanemundanemundane and then suddenly you find a gem and it makes your night. I love how I can make myself laugh with the stupidest shit like saying, “I don’t have any arms” because I’m too lazy to type out, “I don’t have any pictures with my arms in them.” I love how loud that darn sunchips bag at my mom’s house is and how sneaky I have to be when getting out the Triscuits past bedtime. I love Jon & Kate Plus 8, even when it’s sad and they’re fighting. I love pizza from our favorite restaurant, hot and greasy, needing so many paper towels. I also love it for breakfast.

I love cheese and sparkly beverages and sandwiches. I love hair mousse and dress shirts and scrunchy sweatshirts and new belts and sexy underwear and hair clips. I love red headphones and loud music and dog walks and perhaps even school sometimes. I love cherry chopstick (except not when kissing a girl) and blue sharpies. I love this blog and the people who take the time to comment and the way I feel when I’m done writing it, like I’m helping sort myself out in this crazy world full of crazy people and their crazy happenings. I love pulling pranks on people. I love my friends and my family and I really love my dogs. I love all animals. I love owls and drawing and reading.

I love Owl City, just like I did last summer. I love how inspirational and optimistic every single one of his songs are. I love how each of Adam’s songs can remind me of some specific memory from last summer, random ones and silly ones and sad ones and every one in between. I love how he probably still is my favorite musical artist because we’ve been through more than The Shins and I have. I love how Vanilla Twilight literally causes me to scream the lyrics out loud and The Saltwater Room still sparks much discussion of which version is better. I love that I will always think the Ocean Eyes version is better because of that one second where he basically cooes, “ohallthetime.” I love that that is so obviously the song of the day.

I love this post, although it was actually quite hard to write. I love that I don’t care that it was almost a full hour of pure blog concentration. I just love it.

scratched, knobbly legs.

Clean… or blog? Those are basically my choices because my friend texted me and told me to come to her house at 8:30 instead of 8:00, and now I have 20 or so minutes of freetime before I have to, like, survive the world. On two hours of sleep. I’m basically insane. I’m starting to realize how much of my life directly revolves around my sleep. Whether I’ve had any of it, need some, got too much, whatever, all of it. I wrote this “blurb” for tumblr last night, mostly because Ashley told me that you could do that (stupidface me didn’t really know) and I want to share it with you.

Hi there. My name is boobjob12. I’m a stubborn insomniac who falls asleep in my friends’ beds, on their couches, in the car, at parades, while cleaning, or basically at any time I should be awake. As for the times I should be sleeping, I’m usually either writing or reading tumblr or drinking Diet Dr. Pepper or text messaging or playing Fruit Ninja or watching Glee or hitting on women (whom I am not attracted to in the daylight) or organizing documents or drawing owls or singing off key. I’m constantly in battle with sleep and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My name is boobjob12 and I’m pretty much insane.

I basically just feel that every single bit of my personality can be explained by my doing one of those things listed above, and every one of those things listed above feature me either struggling to stay awake or stubbornly procrastinating sleep. It’s quite stupid of me, really, but it’s really hard for me to just be like, “whoops guys, it’s 12am, I should probably go to bed, I have to be up at 6!” I say, “eh, whatever, who cares about tomorrow?” and then I end up staying up intil… 4am, like last night. That was really stupid, especially since today of all days (the day my town celebrates the fourth of July) would be a good day to be, like, awake. Pretty sure another parade nap is in my future. But anyway, I just can’t seem to get myself to go to sleep. Not when there are so many other things to do during the nighttime. Skype chats, tumblr binges, Doctor Who, hitting on women, pajama dance parties, scribbling oil pastels all over my face*, cleaning… I don’t know. I like it. But then again, I’m stupid, and you shouldn’t rationalize with me.

Secret: I don’t like my legs. Especially in the summertime, when they’re red and bumpy from razorburn and bitten up from mosquitoes and scratched everywhere due to many hours on my bike. They’re kind of knobbly and gross, but at the same time, I like them, because they kind of show that. My clumsiness, my constant feeble attempt at being more feminine, how much scented lotion I wear, little facets of my personality. Do you guys have any body part like that? Perhaps a scarred ear from a rebel stage with a lot of piercings or eyelids that will never fully be clean looking from sleeping in eyeliner? Something like that?

Aaaaand now I have to go. You know, face the world. I’m really hoping that if I fall asleep, my friends don’t leave me on a dusty curb somewhere. Song of the Day: Technicolor Eyes by Backseat Goodbye. Goofy and silly and sunny. 🙂

*True story. Also, first time looking at this picture since 2am, my staring directly at the camera is creepily intense and posting this here is vainly cocky. But, um, oh well.

BEDA 2, ftw.

Okay, hold up. BEDA has been moved to August? Hmm? Uh. How about lame? How about no? How about I say, “screw you, Maureen Johnson, I’m not doing BEDJ and then BEDA right after. How about I do it in April anyway?” I think that’s a good idea. Even though this is probably the stupidest idea I’ve had in a while since I’ve barely had time to keep up with my YouTube and blogs anyway, let alone write them. But whatever, who doesn’t like a good challenge? And I never give up. So suck on that!

The reason I haven’t blogged since… oh god, I don’t even know when. Please don’t let it be before the 15th. Oh god, it was the 14th. I obviously fail at life. Anywho, the reason is mostly because… uh… arg, okay, I’ll just say it. Lately I’ve been sort of… going out, in the world, taking chances, living. And then when I get home, I sort of just want to soak up the life and listen to music and read or color or something. Sometimes I’m afraid that if I write it all down, part of the magic will be lost. But that’s a silly fear, and I’m gonna push through it. FOR BEDA! 🙂

Arg. I am writing this in the morning, on the family computer, instead of eating breakfast because I a) feel nauseous, and b) probably won’t be home tonight. My mom is in the other room, bitching up a storm, and the dogs are barking, and my tummy is rumbling, but I don’t care. Today, at 3:07, a bell will ring and I will not have to go back to that place for an entire ten days. I am so excited. Last break, I pretty much laid around and did nothing. This break? That’s not going to happen. I’m getting out, and living, yo. God, I love saying that.

It’s like those tumblr pictures that say stuff like, “screw it, go out and start living” or “you could be happy, you know what to do” sort of things. They make you feel slightly bothered but then you’re like, “oh that doesn’t apply to me! I am perfectly happy with the way I live my life.” Not saying that my past self was a lie or anything, but c’mon man. I had no idea what living was really like. It’s pretty much like having a sunshine mood all the time.

(Not to enforce any kind of ideals on any of you, I promise I’m talking solely for myself.)

Anyways, yeah. BEDA. I’m pretty excited, slightly nervous, and a bit confused as to why I’m doing it, but whaever. A promise is a promise, and I never go back on promises. It feels like lying. Or something. I hope you guys enjoy, like you did BEDJ (if you did not enjoy BEDJ, or are new and did not have the… strangeness of enjoying BEDJ, stick around? Ahhh, sounds so weird. Blerg) and all of that funky jazz.

Adios, amigos! 😉 Are any of you doing an illegal BEDA?

PS. Month-long blogging segment ftw. Emoticon of the day, to describe my mood: :] A square mouth, not exactly fluid yet. Nervous about school today, but still happy. Woo hoo!