buttcrack cake.

How gross would buttcrack cake be? I’m not really sure what I’m talking about right now, because I’m finding it really hard to focus. Which isn’t unusual, I’m usually doing a million other things while blogging, but tonight my attention just keeps straying from what I’m supposed to be talking about, and even as I write this, I’m not sure what I’m saying or why I’m saying it, it keeps pouring out of my fingers like some weird kind of weirdness and I’m really confused as to what’s currently happening. That was one hell of a run-on sentence. I put on my hat and turned out the lights in some hope that that would make me focus a little bit better. So far it’s not really working. Oh god, this isn’t even writer’s block, it’s like brain block. I hate this. Run away, brain demons a foot! “Lolololol.” Oh my god, I need to flee. But I can’t flee from a blog where I’ve only written 164 words! That’s illegal, so very illegal.

I’m starting to realize that my sleep patterns are even more messed up than I had originally thought. I slept until 2pm today. I made the mistake of not setting a cautionary 11am alarm, and I woke up and it was 1:56pm. I was just so disgusted with my self. Half of the day is gone. I sort of just felt guilty. For the day that I had missed. Which I suppose it kind of weird, but I don’t really care. I felt guilty for it. But it actually turned out okay because I had an actual productive day. I sorted out most of my clothes, folding and organizing wise, and then I spent like four hours at my neighbor’s house, which is something I haven’t done in a long time because I just kind of grew up and grew away from them. It was awkward at first and I kept wanting to flee, but I didn’t. We ate pizza and talked and it was actually really nice. And it felt good to be around people besides my parents. All of my friends have been busy lately, at festivals or at jobs, and although next week I’ll go back to having people to hang out with and things to do, I had sort of a lame and boring week. I mean, the first day or two alone were good, but after a while… being cooped up in a house by yourself with nothing but Bananagrams and Jon & Kate Plus 8 can begin to drive you mad. So I’m feeling a lot more sane and tuned into the social world again. Which is very refreshing.

I’m not really sure what’s wrong with me, but I am sort of getting that itch for fall. And for school to start. And I keep internally kicking myself because I hate homework and having to sit in class for hours on end, bored out of my mind, but I miss certain things like jeans and sweaters and opening my locker and seeing people I’m not close enough to to see in the summer. I miss the people I ate lunch with and the feeling of a weekend you truly earned by kicking your own ass all week and… I don’t know. It’s weird and I know I should be enjoying my summer, but I just get these pangs for school sometimes. Plus, I wanna show off my new style. 😉 Anyway, the song of the day is Love and Affection by Neon Trees and if I song could be delicious, this would be it.

those cool breezes.

I love how I always do this to myself. Wait until it’s like 11:30 to blog. It’s not really even a problem because I feel this franticness that makes my fingers fly and the music is cranking and all of these glorious Skype people keep distracting me, and it’s kind of a fun, hilarious 30 minutes. But I really oughta blog earlier. Those first couple days, I could have prevented it, but today I got home around ten and I had to edit a video and then… well, I emailed a little bit. But still, I had stuff to do. Valid excuses, am I right?

I am really excited right now, because for the entire summer so far, I haven’t had any air conditioning at my dad’s house, which is where I spend most of my time. It’s especially hot in my room, partly because of all of the electronics and lamps and disco balls and stuff, but also because I always keep my door closed and there is absolutely no air circulation. (I just can’t stand the thought of jamming out on my headphones with my back to my door and turning around and having someone staring at me from the hallway. It creeps me out to the max.) Tonight, after I got home (from a house with glorious AC) I was like, “dude, this place feels like a sauna”, and he called up his friend who lives nearby and went and got the window air conditioner he’s been promising me for weeks. And I am now sitting in my room with an actual appropriate amount of clothes on, not sweating. Cool. I am actually cool. It’s the most amazing thing in the world.

Do you want to hear a funny little passionateforwords secret? Every single BEDJ entry so far has been exactly 600 words, and I find this fact amazing on like 782 different levels. It’s quite a feat, if I do say so myself.

My favorite part of my bedroom (at my dad’s house) is how many little trinkets I have everywhere. Little things that cover my bookcase or desk or nightstand, little figurines or glue bottles or musical shakers. Little things that brighten up the room (although my wild goldenrod/turquoise walls kind of do that for me) and kind of represent what I am, who I am. Owls and monkeys and an elefante and pens and artsy-crafty stuff everywhere. I realized how much of these things I have as I was cleaning my room yesterday and it was basically amazing. So, my question to you is, what is your favorite little trinket that you have just sitting in your room?

There is something magical about this night. The feeling of a job well done (the video I edited tonight, the first feel video I’ve edited since March) is radiating from my creepish grin and I’m wearing my big editing headphones still and blasting this epic shuffle playlist of 758 of my favorite songs. There is this cool breeze coming from the air conditioner behind me, brushing across my arms and legs and keeping me awake as my eyelids fall in a droopy, sleepy, long day kind of way. This feeling, right here, it’s summer. This is summer. Wearing a giant tshirt and floppy tropical pajama shorts, texting and Skyping and writing. I love summer.

Almost finished, and with six minutes to spare! I hope you all have a nice day, and I hope this entry wasn’t too rushed or random. Song of the day: Never Let You See by Walk in Eternity. Um, yep, Trock. Doctor Who music. The nerdity just keeps flowing, folks.

wrinkled chins and bouncy postscripts.

I totally just realized that there is a compartment in my messenger bag that can fit my iPod perfectly. I mean, perfectly. I got so excited that I had to IM anyone that was online this information. And now I’m telling you, lovable blog. Because we all know that you care so much. xD

I want to share a really amusing, yet scary photo with all of you. I was talking to my best buddy Zach on Skype earlier today, and he was making fun of me for something or other, and so I took a picture of my face. You know, to document the horror and pain within. Enjoy it, bitches.

Yeah. It’s called, “attractive.jpg”, naturally. Let me point out a few things about this photo. First of all, what the hell is my hair doing? It looks like I have two hairy leaves sprouting from my head, or something. Second of all, notice my chin. It’s all wrinkled, and creepy looking. Third of all, look into those eyes. Isn’t that the scariest thing you’ve ever seen?!

In other news, I went through and read all of my Google Reader feeds today, and now when I check it, it tells me that I have nothing unread. This makes me very happy. It took about two hours, and while it was fun, it was very exhausting. I promised myself that I was not going to let it get to that point ever again. I’ll check it in the mornings, when I get home, and a few times a night, just taking a few minutes to look over what I’ve got. Honestly, I brought that pain upon myself.

I mean, I am loving school right now. I love being busy and being able to write myths for English and edit photos for Graphic Communications. I love laughing with my friends at lunch and strolling the halls with the Associate Principal as he screams, “Doctor WHO?!” in a really loud manner. I love smiling and waving and high-fiving friends in the hallways as I strut down them with Owl City or Billie Piper in my ears. I love all of that, and I’m having a really good time. But what I don’t love is how I seem to have to sacrifice my online stuff to have a lot of that. The truth is, having fun at school and trying to stay positive just takes a lot of effort. So, when I get home, instead of reading feeds and watching videos and emailing friends, I just want to collapse in front the TV and rest up for an hour or so before it’s time to start my homework. And then it’s time for bed. Just .. where does the day go?!
This is just something I need to work at finding a routine for. I made it all work last year, when I did BEDJ and read feeds and watched videos and all that. I just need to find my rhythm. And then I will be SET FO’ LIFE. Well, maybe not life. But for a while.

In other other news, I just found the pen that matches my owl quote book! Yay for finding things that escape under the bed!

PS. I just love it when I sit down to write a blog entry, feeling rather content with life, not too excited or bouncy about anything, and then by the time I’m done, I feel all excited and happy and giddy about life. YAHOOOOOO!

a brain overload.

Oh hai blog! I have missed you! What did you do with yourself in my absense? …oh shiz. Third sentence in and I’ve already made a sexual joke. That was unintentional, I promise. Oh you don’t believe me. *headdesk* Is it weird that I want to que an intro? As in a YouTube intro? I mean, I know it’s a blog. I am aware, believe me. Leave it in the comments! Marina, I’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t forget to rate and comment! Blah what is my brain doing? OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD.

Let’s just move on, shall we? So, obviously, I didn’t post a blog yesterday. I didn’t feel bad about it or anything, out of place or guilty, which is really good. I had spent about (*quickly does math in head*) ten hours working on a little masterpiece for the internet, so by the time I had finished and published and was completely done with the whole endeavor, I kind of just wanted to collapse in my desk chair, sign on to IM and watch a little good TV. So, if you missed me (HA!), I am very sorry. I did write this yesterday, though, so you can see how braindead I was.
I just had a total internal argument with myself about what to write in this blog. At first I wanted to tell you guys all about my day, but then I yelled at myself for “being so stupid, you’ll give it away!” as what I did with my day is a major surprise. But then I was like, “oh, well, by the time I post this it’ll be long past the surprise!” But then I realized the surprise never really ends and now I am forced to not talk about my day. What else can I talk about? Uh well, here. Do you guys remember about a week ago I was complaining about the strange muscle pain in my arms? Well, it’s happened again and I’m really trying to figure out why. But to NO AVAIL! That reminds me of a pretty kickass complaint letter that N-Dawg and I wrote. Remember that joyful day, N-Zizzle?
Guttural moans in songs make me laugh, really really hard.
And then it just ends. Do not even ask about that last bit, seriously.

I am getting a haircut tonight! It’s funny because Hazel got one today as well. xD But it’s not really anything drastic, I don’t think. Probably the same style but a little bit choppier. Who knows, maybe I’ll shave it off? How sexy would that be? Oh man, everyone would be so attracted to me. And I would have so many friends. I mean, think about it. I would have like 78,000 subscribers OVERNIGHT. They would just be so attracted to my prickley head. I need to stop talking about prickley heads, as it’s really freaking me out.

You guys, I am so happy. “Why, M, why are you so happy?” Awww, thanks for asking! It’s really appreciated. It’s actually no big deal, no squeeing over how awesome life is, although it is pretty awesome right now, but I am really happy because I got a gift on Monday. I got an OWL NOTEBOOK AND AN OWL PEN. Oh, guys, they are so nice. My mom’s ex-boyfriend saw them at a bookstore and thought of me so he bought them as a “good luck in your sophomore year!” kind of present. I’m using the notebook as a “awesome happy squeeish notebook of things that amuse me”. So far, there is an amazing quote about bananas and other things. =]

LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE.

PS. I’m sorry that this entry was a little bit chaotic, but I’m really giddy today, and sometimes things just come out as squee during these times. 😉

the life of a busy video maker.

Guys, I am proud to say that I don’t have much time to write my blog this evening. I know, that sounds really bad, but let me explain. I have spent the last two hours or so making props, writing scripts, impaling my eyes with paper, and doing the occasional cheer when glue stuck or I think of a good costume idea. What am I doing, you ask? I’m planning a video, of course! It feels really good to put this much work into something that I really believe in. Regenerating. Except not with the whole new body thing. I’m just getting used to this one, thanks.

I can only promise you guys a couple paragraphs this evening. I have to get back to planning camera angles and stuff. Or, you know, eating more vegetarian delights and stuff. Speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked about my vegetarian experiments. Every day, I eat two out of my three meals in a vegetarian way. I usually have the meat meal at dinner, just for convenience of the parent I’m with that day. But there are those days that I can eat all vegetarian, and today was one of those days. 🙂 For dinner, I have a very lunch-like meal, with a peanut butter and jam sandwich, a nectarine, and some kettle chips. I watched TV in my bedroom while I did that. It was a really lovely dinner. ❤

So, would you like a little glimpse of this video planning I've been doing?

Yeah, that was me attempting to stroke the book seductively. How sexy.

PS. OH YEAH! Ben, you get mad props for your URL in your last comment. I laughed for like an hour. ❤